It's been a full week since I got smacked upside the head with Jack's ADHD - inattentive type diagnosis, and our family is still struggling with it. Not "struggling" in a "Our entire lives have been a LIE up until now and we're in a tailspin and what do we do!? WHAT DO WE DO!?!?!?!" type of way, but more in a "Huh. Where the fuck did that come from?" type of way. We had finally gotten our feet back under us after surviving the drama surrounding Sam's diagnosis, then Jack's diagnosis came whizzing by and knocked us back on our asses. We weren't really equipped to handle Jack's diagnosis the same way we were equipped for Sam's, and therefore this past week is like going into uncharted territory all over again.
First, the timing of the chain of events that led to Jack's diagnosis CHBB (that's shorthand for "Could Have Been Better". I prefer the phrase ISA, or "It Sucked Ass"). His last-minute appointment was a whirlwind and I was completely under-prepared. Matt wasn't available for emotional support. This appointment was much more condensed than our first appointment with Sam (because the doctor didn't feel the need to walk so slowly through it with us since we had just gone through it with Sam) and therefore didn't include as much hand-holding. I was bombarded with the same information, but for a new kid.
Second, the boys have differing types of ADHD - Sam's is hyperactive/impulsive, and Jack's is inattentive. Their symptoms look EXTREMELY different, although both have wreaked havoc on school and home life. Before Sam, I didn't know exactly what ADHD looked like, but once Sam's behaviors and symptoms started, I knew that ADHD looked like THAT. If Sam was doing it, THAT was what ADHD looked like. Jack looked nothing like that, therefore it couldn't be ADHD. As much as I had read, studied, and learned about ADHD and how it could look for various individuals, I had read it through the lens of a mom with only one child with ADHD. I still haven't made the mental connection between all the reading and studying I've done and my older son.
And because Jack's so different from Sam, the strategies we've been using have to be adjusted for Jack, and in some cases, scrapped altogether. For example, if we were to ever send Jack to the quiet corner to "reset", he'd grab a book and we wouldn't see him until his 16th birthday. (Hmmm...actually I may keep that one on file.)
Another reason this caught us so off guard is that we've been dealing with Jack's "idiosyncrasies" for so long, and until recently it hadn't caused significant upheaval. He was identified as gifted by the school district when he was 8 years old, and gifted children often show many of the same traits as ADHD children. In our minds, this was just that giftedness meeting Jack's growing sense of independence and self - not ADHD. No way, no how. Surprise!
And lastly - Jack isn't responding to his medication as well as Sam did. There are no ill side effects yet (except for a mopey, put-upon disposition and that's more due to his affliction with the dreaded Preteen-ese), but there hasn't been any marked improvement in his classroom behavior. While we knew the first scrip may not be the best scrip, knowing something and KNOWING something looks very different. We were used to a little boy who perked up and became an improved version of himself very quickly. We aren't prepared for an almost-teenager who is still acting like an almost-teenager. We'll address this with his doctor, and we know we'll find the right prescription, but in the meantime it's disappointing (to us and to Jack) that the impact wasn't as fast and furious as what we had hoped for.
Overall, we're dealing. We're okay. As is the case with most unwelcome surprises, the immediate aftermath of Jack's diagnosis overwhelmed us and made the molehill seem like more of a mountain. It certainly wasn't a molehill I was looking forward to climbing, but it still wasn't the Mt. Everest my mind had created. I'm probably cursing myself by saying this, but Jack's diagnosis has been rather anti-climatic - here's hoping it stays that way.
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