The Question

We were sitting on the couch as a family, watching TV, and out of the blue, Sammy asked:

"Mom and Dad - what does being 'gay' mean?"

I looked at Matt, Matt looked at me, and we both looked at Sam. And Matt oh-so-wisely replied:

"What do you think, Mom?"

Asshole.

My first concern was how he had heard the word used. I needed to make sure he hadn't used it or heard it used as slur, and that he knew that using in such a manner wasn't going to be tolerated in our family. We were safe - Sam had heard it on TV when we were watching Modern Family one night (LOVE that show!), and he wondered what it meant. Fair enough.

Matt and I don't usually dance around tough topics with the boys. We try to talk about things in age-appropriate terms, but we don't avoid the conversation. So we were both on the same page about Sam's question. We were going to answer it in a way that a 7-year old could understand, and we were going to earn some major Awesome Parents points as we did so.

So we explained: "When a person is gay, it means that a man loves a man, or a woman loves a woman." Simple explanation, but honest and to-the-point. Awesome Parents: 1, Uncomfortable Topic: 0.

Sam thought about it for 0.015 seconds and said, "Well I'M a boy and I love daddy and PopPop and Lucas (his BFF). So I'm gay, right?" Aaand...Uncomfortable Topic pulls ahead.

Us:  "No, not exactly, honey. When you're gay you love someone like you want to spend the rest of your life and live with them forever. Like mommy and daddy. THAT kind of love." Oh yeah. That'll do it! Matt and I gave each other a mental high-five.

Sam:  (pensively) "Well, I want to live with Lucas the rest of my life. We're going to be best friends for the rest of our lives, so we can be gay together!" Shit. Increasingly Flustered and Not-So-Awesome Parents: 1, Uncomfortable Topic: 3,142.

Us:  "Sammy, when someone is gay, they romantically love another man or another woman. They want to hug and kiss, like mommy and daddy do. They want to marry each other. It's a different love than how you are with Daddy or PopPop or Lucas. Does that make sense?" Pleasepleasepleaseplease...

Sammy: "OOOOOOH! Okay. Can I have dessert?" YES!!! Awesomest Parents in the Whole Wide World for the WIN!!

Matt was more than happy to get Sammy his dessert, and I think we both breathed a little sigh of relief. And then Sam asked:

"How do gay people make babies?"

Sammy got dessert twice that night.